If you’re familiar with the results of last weekend’s NFL Draft, you may have come to an unflattering conclusion about me. Let the anger pour out. Right now. Seriously. Let it out. Okay. Now that you’re all firmly placated, I would like to address the rumors swirling about. I switched bodies, back with John Dorsey, hours before the Draft because Hugh Jackson was sniffing around too much, he knew something wasn’t right. I’m joking, of course. Hugh Jackson isn’t smart enough to notice that. The real reason is that Sam Barr, the Worthingtonian high school student, had the ever important Prom as well as AP Exams on his docket. However, I didn’t leave before raiding the break room and ransacking Jimmy Haslam’s office (He has a voodoo doll shaped like Johnny Manziel in a secret compartment in his desk. I’m genuinely concerned for the safety of the most successful quarterback in Las Vegas history). So to all my fans across the globe, I apologize for backing out of my plan faster than Art Modelle backed out of..(too soon?).
First (1): Baker Mayfield (Oklahoma) - QB With a series of ‘tool’-fueled smokescreens John Dorsey and his goon squad successfully kept this pick under wraps until Adam Schefter, hiding in the bushes wearing a full-on ghillie suit, intercepted the intended number one pick a few days before the draft. And while I do commend them for taking who I consider to be the second best quarterback in this class (my ranks: 1. Lamar Jackson, 2. Baker Mayfield, 3. Josh Rosen, 4. Sam Darnold, 5. Josh Allen, 6. Mason Rudolph, 7. Mike White, 8. Kyle Lauletta, 9. Chase Litton, 10. Logan Woodside) it is paradoxical as to why the man considered a generational back in the mold of Eric Dickerson and Barry Sanders was passed up at this spot, knowing that Mayfield would have been there at four and Lamar Jackson at the back end of the first round. There are rumors that if Mayfield (who is beloved by NFL teams) wasn’t selected with the first pick, the Patriots would have traded up to the second pick to nab him as the heir to the arrogance throne. I personally take these post draft reports about the Giants trading their pick with a grain of salt. My rationale is that even though Saquon Barkley would theoretically be a member of the Browns, at the JPP-less G-Men would have taken Bradley Chubb. Who by all accounts was extremely impressive on his visit to New York, strutting through the practice facility in a suit (unusual for a prospect) and armed with an infectious smile and I assume from the lauding reports: a firm handshake. This would have allowed the Jets at three (assuming they don’t trade out) to take their quarterback from Southern Cal - when will they learn - and therefore Mayfield would have been available at four. While I don’t agree that Mayfield is worth the paramount pick of the whole draft, he is, however, a very solid prospect who I think can be a Pro Bowl level quarterback in a Drew Brees/Russell Wilson mashup if and only if he receives the necessary cultivation opposed to being Kizered. Regardless of what Baker’s own machismo-fueled words will tell you, he shouldn’t be the starting quarterback in the first season for obvious reasons. The foremost being the presence of above average starter Tyrod Taylor who possesses a similar skill set to Mayfield, allowing for a smooth transition when the time comes - ideally one/two years. Not giving the tenacious, two time walk-on the starting gig out of the gates is not the same as saying he isn’t good enough. He is talented enough to start week one for both teams in the New York market. He is tremendously accurate - I could ramble off supporting statistics, but that’d be boring - and in his last two seasons at Oklahoma he posted the two highest ratings in the history of Pro Football Focus’ collegiate quarterback ratings. That being said, being good enough for the Big Apple is not good enough to start week one in Cleveland. Let me explain. Mayfield, who is no stranger to hostile media coverage, thrives on those who doubt him. So hypothetically if he’s playing his home games at New Meadowlands and a stretch of poor play leaves him under attack by the notoriously harsh New York media, his personality would drive him into grind mode. If that poor play is experienced on the shore of Lake Erie opposed to in the ugliest stadium in sports (seriously, look up New Meadowlands Stadium) Baker would contract the mysterious Cleveland QB Syndrome (which has somehow infected Kevin Love) or CQBS. Best defined as the loss of morale stemming from being labeled as “just another Cleveland quarterback”. To avoid giving Baker this incurable disease, barring injury or horrific play from Tyrod, the Browns should avoid throwing him into the fire during his rookie year. I really hope he can develop into the quarterback of the future, but I said the same thing about the once-promising quarterbacks who all succumbed to CQBS: Deshone Kizer, Johnny Manziel, Colt McCoy (yes, I skipped Brandon Weeden), Brady Quinn, and Charlie Frye (whose jersey is currently gathering dust in the back corner of a Kohl’s boy’s section in Youngstown). Grade: A First (4): Denzel Ward (Ohio State) - CB I have mixed feelings about this pick. I did want to select Ward before I abandoned Berea, but eight spots later at twelve. For context taking him at twelve required the maniacal idealistic trading of picks, starting with this pick. However, according to the Browns front office, the market for acquiring the fourth pick was very shallow. Which isn’t their fault but it’s still disappointing. That being said even though Bradley Chubb is tantalizing, Denzel Ward will likely provide more impact in a reconstructed secondary than Chubb would in a defensive end rotation that includes Myles Garrett and the criminally underappreciated Emmanuel Ogbah. As the unquestioned number one corner in the class he gives the Browns more solid coverage which in turn will provide more time for the D Line to rush the passer. The speedster from Cleveland will hopefully be a cornerstone of the defense for years to come. Grade: A- Second (33): Austin Corbett (Nevada) - OT The Browns just love Nevada offensive lineman I guess. They selected stalwart left guard Joel Bitonio in the second round back in 2014, and this year they select Bitonio’s college teammate former walk-on Austin Corbett. This is where this pick becomes very interesting to me. Although playing left tackle throughout college, Corbett was listed as a guard on almost every major Draft resource. I was inclined to give this pick an F when it was first reported due the lack of a positional need at guard. I then went back and reviewed his tape to come to my own conclusion that he has the versatility to play inside or outside. Furthermore, Hugh Jackson basically saying Bitonio may kick out to left tackle this season sheds light upon this pick. If Corbett plays tackle or guard I don’t see much of a problem as a kid with this much drive and tenacity should be able to be proficient at either position. It just seems like this pick was a tad redundant with the roster the Browns currently have. Grade: C+ Second: (35): Nick Chubb (Georgia) - RB Well I guess this is a good consolation for Saquon Barkley. Before Chubb tore three ligaments in his knee during his sophomore season he was in the same echelon as Barkley as a generational back. After the injury, however, he appeared to have lost a step, half of which he gained back his senior campaign. This selection still appears redundant for the sole reason that his profile a a runner reminds me of current Browns running back Carlos Hyde. And while I do believe he’ll continue to improve, without knowing whether or not he’ll transform into a back that can lead a franchise or not I can’t give this more than a modest grade. Grade: C
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